GODS AND HEROES! SMILE AND KINDNESS!!

Appreciation
Gods and heroes
Have you ever thought of how much an impact would a little smile, a small gesture of kindness make on you when you are in deep crisis, your life is in turmoil and having hopes against hopes? This is the story of those selfless kind and magnanimous people whose disposition made a huge impact on the lives of members of a family during an agonizing period of almost one year.

The story begins with my wife, a consultant in a leading state IT academy, having experienced a sudden memory loss early 2007. Our family physician diagnosed her as having a brain lesion and later a brain surgery and a biopsy revealed it to be a very aggressive brain tumour. Before the operation, while we were waiting for a scan she said " Thaththi I feel like I am going to end up at sorry.com." "Let us be positive", I consoled her. After the operation our neurosurgeon explained to her the nature of her illness and the prognosis. She put up a brave face and asked: "How much time have I got?" The doctor said: "Around two years". "Oh that is good enough. I would be able to see my eldest daughter pass out as a doctor", she said. Thereafter, two years has been her goal even though it never materialized. She faced two brain surgeries and extensive radio and chemotherapy here in Sri Lanka and in India, but never complained. She always treated all those who came to see her and the staff of the hospitalwith a beaming smile until she passed into a coma before her final journey.

There were the four doctors viz. The good neurosurgeon was soft spoken, easily approachable, sympathetic and had all the time in the world for his patients. After the first operation, he assured me that he would do everything possible until nothing further could be done. He refused to accept payment for the second operation. He took much pain in explaining to me and my elder daughter, knowing that she was a medical student, procedures and treatment that have been carried out under his supervision. The good anaesthetist, being husband of our family physician and the father of a batchmate of my daughter, attended both surgeries free of charge. No amount of pleadings could change his mind. Now the lady (our physician) does not allow us to pay her fees whenever we seek her services. The friendly third doctor, a neighbour, landed all his equipment at our house and virtually made it a mini ward. He attended every emergency during the latter part of her illness. The kind lady doctor who specialized in research made use of all the resources at her disposal to find a solution to our problem, of course, free of charge. Our friend, the matron at the Cancer Detection Centre, has always been with us right throughout the ordeal.

Then there were colleagues, staff, present and past students of the institute where my wife worked as a consultant / lecturer. From the time they came to know of my wife’s true position, they performed Bodhi Poojas, released cattle from slaughter and organized fund-raising all over the world. Whenever the blood was required, they volunteered to donate.

Then there were the Maha Sanga who performed poojas and visited us and chanted seth pirith and some who volunteered with medication. Also the Christian reverend, who accompanied our friends, blessed her.

There were also the doctors and the staff of Kalubowila General Hospital Ward No. 04, who admitted my wife when other hospitals refused admission in view of the infection she acquired due to lowering of the immunity system resulting from chemotherapy. They took care of her exceptionally well so that she recovered from the deadly infection quickly. They also reassured her she could come back in an emergency.

Also there was this little nightingale of serene demeanour, who took care of my wife when she fell seriously ill and lying in the Intensive Care Unit of the Apollo Hospital, Chennai. It was a shattering experience for me to see my wife in a state of a coma after two uneventful months of treatment. I was alone in India and was neither prepared nor in a frame of mind to face such a situation. I could not hold back my tears and asked the nurse why she was not talking. In halting English she said: " Do not worry Sir, she is going to be fine; she will come round soon". At that time these words meant everything under the sun to me, even though what she said was contrary to concerns expressed by the doctors. She used to console me every time I visited. Nevertheless my wife recovered from the ordeal and thereafter all the nurses of the ICU became very fond of her.

I also recall the textile merchant in Chennai. I went into a shop and asked for a scarf and a piece of black cloth. The shopkeeper looked bit puzzled and asked very politely: "Sir, for what purpose do you need the black cloth?" I toldhim that my wife had been undergoing chemotherapy and was losing her hair and needed the stuff to cover her head. He soon found and gave me what I asked for and when asked for the price, said: " Sir I cannot and will not charge you for this".

I shall not forget the management of the company I serve. On hearing the news, my CEO called me and said: "Bas our thoughts and prayers are with you. Please let us know what needs to be done by us". True to his words I was given paid leave to proceed to Chennai and financial assistance in the form of grants and loans. Support, care and understanding extended by my superiors, colleagues and subordinates were overwhelming.

It seemed there were friends all over the world - relatives and neighbours - who inundated us with telephone calls, e-mails, get well cards, assistance in cash and kind, never diverting their attention from us.

There was also the lady in Balangoda who treated cancer patients free of charge in a world where quacks still exploit and cheat the gullible.

There were also my two daughters and the sister-in-law. The elder had been nursing her mother day and night, bravely facing demanding and constantly changing situations in an attempt to repay her debts. The younger suffered silently while holding her mother’s hand which brought a smile to her mother’s face every time. And the sister-in-law took over the daily chores of her sister’s family without complaining.

It is true that we dreamt an impossible dream, fought a losing battle but all that was not lost. It is reassuring and refreshing to realize that the world is not short of selfless human beings with inner beauty. Their magnanimity saw no limits of castes, creeds, religions and boundaries.

It is our belief that the only way of reciprocating such love and understanding is to try and emulate them in returning the same magnanimity to people in a similar predicament.


Gamini Basnayake
Piliyandala

www island.lk